A New Kind of Window Shopping: Judgment

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We’ve all come to develop a new kind of window shopping, and I’m not talking about the fun holiday stroll through the mall, sipping a latte with your best friend…

We’re all guilty of the addictive scrolling through social media pages of people we barely know in real life, of walking down busy streets and avoiding awkward glances with individuals who don’t appear to be “normal”, and we ask ourselves this, often subconsciously:

Who’s personal shit can I shop for today?

From the outside looking in, we all have robust opinions. We all think we know everyone’s story based on surface. We cling to judgement as our box, to help us form our perceptions and our perspective of what should or shouldn’t be for others.

We think by forcing our boxed opinions of what we believe onto others that it will help them live a better life. In reality, all we do is push those people farther and farther away. This is part of the laws of energy. Energetically, what we put forth is returned to us, you get what you give.

Why do we feel it necessary to agree or disagree with other people’s lives or choices? Why is the way other people live their lives pertinent to us? We blanket this feeling of control or force under the context of caring. In reality, isn’t caring actually wanting your friend, your family member, your colleague, to be in alignment with who they are, rather than who we want them to be? Why do we force people to be who we want them to be? Because it is more comfortable for us? Because it meets our needs and makes us feel better and more complete?

When you are on the outside looking in it makes it easier to tell people exactly what they should do and how they should do it. But what about you? How would someone from the outside looking in judge your life choices? How would you honestly assess your own life? Where are your areas that you need to give attention to addressing and understanding? What are the behavior patterns that have you stuck, heavy or confused and why haven’t you just magically waved a wand to fix them? Why?

Because when it’s your life, it’s always easier said than done. Making changes in our lives does not happen in swift motion. The reality is, we won’t change until we want to change. In the mean time, we stand at the window and people watch, wondering who we can assess and what they need to do, rather than looking in the mirror and dealing with our own shit.

We identify other people’s misalignment as material to elevate ourselves, and avoid our own self-criticism. Here’s some advice if you find yourself window shopping for other people’s shortcomings this holiday season:

1) Remember, everyone’s fighting their own battles. Dig a little bit deeper and you’ll realize that your judgment is most likely uncalled for.

2) Stand up for yourself, and avoid anything that doesn’t bring you joy. Stay true to what is best for YOU, stop trying to please others along the way.

4) Understand that while people mean well, their window shopping actions are a vehicle to defer their own inner healing.

Jodi Ashbrook